Inquiries for Parents' Perspectives

Getting Close and Keeping Memories: Questions To Chat With Your Old Man and Lady

Inquiries for Parents' Perspectives

Hey there! Let's talk about something other than health, weather, or your little brother for a change - y'know, your parents. Sure, you think you know them, but there's much more to learn. According to Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, the founder of End Well, USA, having those deep, thought-provoking chats with your parents isn't just fun - it's also damn good for both sides.

Why, you ask? Well, by asking some good questions, you'll get to know your parents in a deeper way, create some emotional bonding, and preserve some beautiful memories. And, because your parents might be getting a tad long in the tooth or dealing with health issues, it's a phenomenal idea to start having these chats now, Dr. Ungerleider tells Time magazine. Plus, understanding your parents better can help you better understand yourself.

Busting Loose and Discovering New Stuff

So, what should you ask your parents? Ask some open-ended questions, and you'll learn a ton. For instance, things like, "What do you hope for my life, buddy?" or "How do you two shape our lives together, and what role does love and careplay?" As Dr. Ungerleider puts it, interpersonal stuff is pretty important, too.

Looking for something to get the conversation rolling? Ask your parents about their most damaging moments. Be prepared - it might take some courage to bring up a sensitive topic, but the answer could teach you a lot about your parents' formative experiences. If they're willing to open up, ask them what helped them overcoming those difficult moments. "You can pick up some serious life lessons from seeing how someone faced an obstacle or adversity and managed to come out on top," says Dr. Ungerleider. Your old man or mom might be tougher than you thought - and that could be a great motivation!

Wanna learn something truly mind-blowing? Let your parents know that their stories can help you understand yourself better. A lot of people don't think much about this, says the good doctor, but it's better to ask now and have regrets later. "You know, one should think about what one leaves behind physically or what one has created in life, but also about how one hopes people will feel in one's presence and what experiences they've had with you," she says.

Starting Up and Keeping Going

So, how do you kick off these deep, meaningful conversations with your parents? Psychologist Jenny Shields from Houston suggests starting simple: "Is there something that interests or concerns you right now that I don't know about?" Such questions may be basic, but they can open the door to deeper discussions.

"It's not all about gathering stories," explains Dr. Ungerleider. "It's about that connection - about valuing someone while they're still able to feel and experience it."

• Daddios
• Mommas
• Kids

Additional Inspiration:

• "What are some family traditions that you cherish, and how did they start?"
• "Can you tell me about a significant family event or celebration that stands out to you?"
• "What is one of the most important lessons you learned from your parents or grandparents?"
• "What advice would you give to your younger self, and why?"
• "What is one thing you wish I knew about you that I might not?"
• "How do you feel about our family’s history and legacy?"
• "What’s something you’re currently into that I might not know about?"
• "Is there something you've always wanted to try or explore?"
• "If your life had chapters, what title would you give this one?"
• "What do you feel most proud of in your life so far?"

1. Engaging in deep conversations with your parents, such as discussing their formative experiences and the role love and care play in shaping your lives, can create emotional bonding and preserve valuable memories.
2. Asking about their hopes for your life, family traditions, and significant family events can provide insights into your parents' perspectives and values.
3. Inquiring about the most important lessons they learned from their parents or grandparents, or their advice for their younger selves, can offer life lessons and personal growth opportunities.
4. Discussing your family's history and legacy, or their current interests and aspirations, can foster a better understanding of your family dynamics and strengthen your relationship.
5. Valuing your parents and connecting with them on topics such as health-and-wellness, fitness-and-exercise, family-health, mental-health, or parenting can contribute to your own self-understanding and enhance your lifestyle and relationships.

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